Privacy on Facebook

Want privacy on Facebook? Here is how to get some

By BARBARA ORTUTAY,AP Technology Writer - Friday, December 18

NEW YORK – Over the past week, Facebook has been nudging its users _ first gently, then firmly _ to review and update their privacy settings.

You might have procrastinated by hitting "skip for now," but Facebook eventually locked you out until you did so. After finally accepting Facebook's recommendations or tweaking the privacy settings yourself, though, you might have made more information about you public than what you had intended.

At the same time, Facebook has given users many granular controls over their privacy, more than what's available on other major social networks.

So if you want to stay out of people's view, but still want to be on Facebook, here are some things to look out for as you take another look at your settings.

1. Some of your information is viewable by everyone.

Everyone can see your name, your profile photo and the names of work and school networks you're part of. Ditto for pages you are a fan of. If you are worried about a potential employer finding out about a quirky fetish or unorthodox political leaning, avoid becoming a Facebook fan of such groups. You can't tell Facebook you don't want those publicly listed. Your gender and current city are also available, if you choose to specify them. You can uncheck "Show my sex in my profile" when you edit your profile if you don't want it listed, and you can leave "Current City" blank.

2. Your list of friends may also be public.

Facebook also considers your friends list publicly available information. Privacy advocates worry that much can be gleaned from a person's list of friends _ even sexual orientation, according to one MIT study. But there is a way to hide the list. Go to your profile page and click on the little blue pencil icon on the top right of your box of friends. Uncheck "Show Friend List to everyone." Either way, those you are already friends with can always see your full list.

3. You can hide yourself from Web searches.

There is a section for "Search" under Facebook's privacy settings page, which is accessible from the top right corner of the Web site under "Settings." If you click the "Allow" box next to "Public Search Results," the information that Facebook deems publicly available (such as photo, fan pages and list of friends), along with anything else you have made available to everyone, will show up when someone looks up your name on a search engine such as Google. The stuff you've limited access to in your profile will not show up.

This is useful if you want people you've lost touch with, or potential work contacts, to be able to find your Facebook page. If you'd rather not be found, uncheck this box.

A second setting, controlling searches within Facebook, lets you refine who can find you once that person has logged on. Limit searches to friends only if you think you have all the friends you need and don't want anyone to find you when they type in your name to Facebook.

4. Beware of third-party applications.

Quizzes and games are fun, but each time you take one, you first authorize it to access your profile information, even if you have made that available only to your friends. You're also letting the app access some information on your friends.

Under "Application Settings," Facebook lists all the apps you have opened your profile up to. If you no longer want to authorize access to "Which Golden Girl Are You?" you can always remove it by clicking on the "X" next to its name. Apps you use regularly, such as Facebook for Android if you update your status from your mobile phone, should stay.

Next, by clicking on "Applications and Websites" on the privacy settings page, you can edit whether your friends can share your birthday, photos and other specific information. Remember that applications can access your "publicly available information" no matter what.

The security firm Sophos recommends users set their privacy settings for two of Facebook's own popular applications, notes and photos, to friends only.

5. Go over your list of friends.

The average Facebook user has 130 friends. But many people interact with a much smaller group when commenting on status updates, photos and links. So it doesn't hurt to occasionally review your list of your friends to get an idea of just who can view your status posts, vacation photos and funny links you've shared over the years. Don't feel obligated to add anyone as a friend, even if that person adds you first. For professional acquaintance you don't want to snub, send them to a LinkedIn profile you can set up. Some workplaces and schools have rules about Facebook interactions between bosses and employees or students and teachers.

6. Create custom friends groups.

If you have friended a lot of people, sort them. Think of the groups you interact with in real life _ co-workers, college buddies, girlfriends, grandma and grandpa _ and organize your Facebook friends in these groups, too. Go to "All Friends" under the "Friends" button up top, click on "Create New List" and fire away. Then decide what aspects of your profile, and which status posts and photos, these people will have access to. Or, simply create a "limited" list for acquaintances or distant relatives and limit their access.

7. Customize your status posts.

Type "I'm hungry" into your status update box. Click on the little lock icon. You'll see a range of privacy controls pop up, letting you either allow or limit access to the post. If you want, you can even hide it from everyone by clicking "Only Me" under the custom settings. Click on save setting. Repeat with each post, or create a default setting for most updates and increase or decrease privacy as you see fit.

8. Let your friends know you have boundaries _ in person.

Many of us have woken up on a Sunday morning to find that an overzealous friend has posted dozens of photos from that wild party we barely remembered _ the good, the bad and the hideous. Chances are, they didn't do this to embarrass you, though if they did you have bigger problems. Rather, they probably don't know that you don't want these photos posted. Sure, tweak your photo privacy settings on Facebook. But if someone starts snapping pictures of you at a party, ask them to check with you before posting it anywhere.

9. Never assume complete privacy.

Even for the most tech-savvy person, unflattering photos, incriminating text messages or angry status posts about work have a way of worming their way out in the open. Just saying.

Source

21 Lotus Touts

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

How to live life to the fullest

Harold is a good friend who inspires me with his passion for life. At age 89, he continues to work full time, though he retired from his paying job 10 years ago. Now he invests a great deal of his talent, energy, time and money into an organization called "Wayside Waifs."

Harold is the chief executive officer of this not-for-profit animal shelter that is dedicated to finding loving and safe homes for untold numbers of stray or unwanted dogs and cats. Each morning Harold awakens knowing that his mission is making a difference for our community; bringing love, security and companionship for thousands of animals each year, and perhaps even more benefits to the kind and generous people who adopt these pets. His eyes still sparkle with vitality and vigor, and he walks with a spring in his step. He thinks, acts, exercises, and lives like a man 30 years younger.

Harold will tell you that his love for family, friends, and Wayside Waifs is the driving force that fuels his passion for life. When he asked me during his most recent office visit, "How's my health, Doc?" I replied, "Harold, if we are not someday celebrating your 100thbirthday together, I will feel asthough I have failed you."

Maybe we all can't contribute on the scale that Harold does, but even a little investment in the life around us has the power to bring strength and vitality to our lives. All living things are interconnected through the great tree of life, and through our connections with other life, flows a vital force that sustains each of us like the sap of a tree sustains its leaves. Whether or not we are aware of it, each one of us is woven into this network of life; and if we ignore this reality and become isolated and too self-centered, we grow ill and unhappy. Scientists studying this issue find that lonely, cut off, and depressed people tend to be unhealthy and die younger. In other words, if you lose interest in life, life may lose interest in you. An isolated individual is a dead-end in the grand scheme of life. On the other hand, individuals contributing to and striving for the welfare of others is the force that allows life to continue to thrive. Through its profound instinctive wisdom, life has a way of investing energy and vitality in those who are contributing positively to their community of life, and withdrawing it from those who are not.

Mission

The islanders of Okinawa have an average lifespan of 86 years, making them one of the longest living and healthiest cultures in the world. Okinawans suffer 80 percent less heart disease, 75 percent less breast and prostate cancer, and 33 percent less dementia than their counterparts here in the U.S. The Okinawans attribute their exceptional longevity and vigor to a concept they call "ikagai," or having a strong sense of purpose. They feel that an ongoing personal mission or destiny is essential for staying youthful and strong as they grow older.

Certainly, their traditional diet rich in vegetables and fish, and an active way of life, are factors in the Okinawans' excellent health. Yet, the people of this remarkable culture feel their longevity is most closely tied to "ikagai," literally translated as "that which makes one's life worth living." A cause or a passion bigger than ourselves can help us transcend the selfish, introspective nature of an isolated human life, and can bring us lasting vitality and exceptional longevity. The Okinawans have a reciprocal support network of family, friends and neighbors, and this brings a sense of belonging to these people. They tend to put family first and prioritize the cultivation and maintenance of lifelong friendships and social bonds.

My mother, Leatrice, is a nurse by profession, and nurturing others has always come naturally for her. When my father passed away five years ago she lost her best friend and soul mate. Understandably, she was depressed and anxious for a year or so afterwards, but she gradually regained her spark by reinvesting her life in others. She volunteers regularly at both the nursing home and the church in our hometown of Grafton, North Dakota, a vibrant little community of 3,500 people near the Minnesota and Canadian borders. She regularly entertains company or travels to visit her family and friends, cares for a dog, and loves to garden (during the four months of the year that the temperature stays above freezing). Recently, she confided to me that she believes that she has been blessed with good health so that she can be there for many of her friends and neighbors who are getting older and sometimes find themselves struggling with serious health issues. Leatrice has a gentle, happy, and compassionate manner, and she spends her days providing good humor, hope, and kindhearted support for her friends and family, and in this way she finds strength and peace of mind for herself. To me, she has always seemed like the closest thing I have ever known to an angel, though I suppose it's natural for a person to feel that way about his or her own mother.

Here's the critical factor: no outside entity determines whether or not you are still important to the web of life, you do. It's your own being, conscious or subconscious, that judges whether you are still a dynamic life force that needs to continue to prosper. Living with a sense of purpose sends a signal to your brain that says, "I still matter," and this engenders attitudes and actions that resonate throughout your being, revitalizing your body, reinvigorating your mind, realigning your hormones, and helping you to thrive.

Want to grow stronger? Give your energy to someone or some cause beyond yourself. Want to be happier? Stop worrying so much about your own self-interests and try to make someone else's life happier or easier. You don't have to change the world; you just need to call your friend. My father-in-law Leonard, who lived to be 94 years old, used to say, "Keep on walkin' and keep on squawkin'; and don't look back." Indeed, a recent study found that people who made a habit of visiting with acquaintances, either in person or by phone, were significantly protected from Alzheimer's disease. Take good care of the people you love. Happiness doesn't come from possessions or power, but instead from the relationships you develop with the people in your life whom you love and respect.

Tend a garden, or walk your dog, or feed the birds, or give your elderly neighbor a ride to the grocery store. You get what you give—it's one of the fundamental laws of nature, and it is a force that animates life. Tap into it and you will thrive and prosper; ignore it and you may wither like the leaf that becomes disconnected from its tree.

Wilson Colman

NHP Electrical Engineering Pty Ltd

43- 67 River St Richmond

VIC, 3121 Australia

Deadly Sins of Negative Thinking

1. I will be happy once I have _____ (or once I earn X).

Problem: If you think you can't be happy until you reach a certain point, or until you reach a certain income, or have a certain type of house or car or computer setup, you'll never be happy. That elusive goal is always just out of reach. Once we reach those goals, we are not satisfied — we want more.

Solution: Learn to be happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are, right at this moment. Happiness doesn't have to be some state that we want to get to eventually — it can be found right now. Learn to count your blessings, and see the positive in your situation. This might sound simplistic, but it works.

2. I wish I were as ____ as (a celebrity, friend, co-worker).

Problem: We'll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, as sculpted, as cool, as everyone else. There will always be someone better, if you look hard enough. Therefore, if we compare ourselves to others like this, we will always pale, and will always fail, and will always feel bad about ourselves. This is no way to be happy.

Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, and look instead at yourself — what are your strengths, your accomplishments, your successes, however small? What do you love about yourself? Learn to love who you are, right now, not who you want to become. There is good in each of us, love in each of us, and a wonderful human spirit in every one of us.

3. Seeing others becoming successful makes me jealous and resentful.

Problem: First, this assumes that only a small number of people can be successful. In truth, many, many people can be successful — in different ways.

Solution: Learn to admire the success of others, and learn from it, and be happy for them, by empathizing with them and understanding what it must be like to be them. And then turn away from them, and look at yourself — you can be successful too, in whatever you choose to do. And even more, you already are successful. Look not at those above you in the social ladder, but those below you — there are always millions of people worse off than you, people who couldn't even read this article or afford a computer. In that light, you are a huge success.

4. I am a miserable failure — I can't seem to do anything right.

Problem: Everyone is a failure, if you look at it in certain ways. Everyone has failed, many times, at different things. I have certainly failed so many times I cannot count them — and I continue to fail, daily. However, looking at your failures as failures only makes you feel bad about yourself. By thinking in this way, we will have a negative self-image and never move on from here.

Solution: See your successes and ignore your failures. Look back on your life, in the last month, or year, or 5 years. And try to remember your successes. If you have trouble with this, start documenting them — keep a success journal, either in a notebook or online. Document your success each day, or each week. When you look back at what you've accomplished, over a year, you will be amazed. It's an incredibly positive feeling.

5. I'm going to beat so-and-so no matter what — I'm better than him. And there's no way I'll help him succeed — he might beat me.

Problem: Competitiveness assumes that there is a small amount of gold to be had, and I need to get it before he does. It makes us into greedy, back-stabbing, hurtful people. We try to claw our way over people to get to success, because of our competitive feelings. For example, if a blogger wants to have more subscribers than another blogger, he may never link to or mention that other blogger. However, who is to say that my subscribers can't also be yours? People can read and subscribe to more than one blog.

Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared, and learn that if we help each other out, we can each have a better chance to be successful. Two people working towards a common goal are better than two people trying to beat each other up to get to that goal. There is more than enough success to go around. Learn to think in terms of abundance rather than scarcity.

6. Dammit! Why do these bad things always happen to me?

Problem: Bad things happen to everybody. If we dwell on them, they will frustrate us and bring us down.

Solution: See bad things as a part of the ebb and flow of life. Suffering is a part of the human condition — but it passes. All pain goes away, eventually. Meanwhile, don't let it hold you back. Don't dwell on bad things, but look forward towards something good in your future. And learn to take the bad things in stride, and learn from them. Bad things are actually opportunities to grow and learn and get stronger, in disguise.

7. You can't do anything right! Why can't you be like ____ ?

Problem: This can be said to your child or your subordinate or your sibling. The problem? Comparing two people, first of all, is always a fallacy. People are different, with different ways of doing things, different strengths and weaknesses, different human characteristics. If we were all the same, we'd be robots. Second, saying negative things like this to another person never helps the situation. It might make you feel better, and more powerful, but in truth, it hurts your relationship, it will actually make you feel negative, and it will certainly make the other person feel negative and more likely to continue negative behavior. Everyone loses.

Solution: Take the mistakes or bad behavior of others as an opportunity to teach. Show them how to do something. Second, praise them for their positive behavior, and encourage their success. Last, and most important, love them for who they are, and celebrate their differences.

8. Your work sucks. It's super lame. You are a moron and I hope you never reproduce.

Problem: I've actually gotten this comment before. It feels wonderful. However, let's look at it not from the perspective of the person receiving this kind of comment but from the perspective of the person giving it. How does saying something negative like this help you? I guess it might feel good to vent if you feel like your time has been wasted. But really, how much of your time has been wasted? A few minutes? And whose fault is that? The bloggers or yours? In truth, making negative comments just keeps you in a negative mindset. It's also not a good way to make friends.

Solution: Learn to offer constructive solutions, first of all. Instead of telling someone their blog sucks, or that a post is lame, offer some specific suggestions for improvement. Help them get better. If you are going to take the time to make a comment, make it worth your time. Second, learn to interact with people in a more positive way — it makes others feel good and it makes you feel better about yourself. And you can make some great friends this way. That's a good thing.

9. Insulting People Back

Problem: If someone insults you or angers you in some way, insulting them back and continuing your anger only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day (or a bad year) and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate, you are now having a bad day too. His problem has become yours. Not only that, but the cycle of insults can get worse and worse until it results in violence or other negative consequences — for both of you.

Solution: Let the insults or negative comments of others slide off you like Teflon. Don't let their problem become yours. In fact, try to understand their problem more — why would someone say something like that? What problems are they going through? Having a little empathy for someone not only makes you understand that their comment is not about you, but it can make you feel and act in a positive manner towards them — and make you feel better about yourself in the process.

10. I don't think I can do this — I don't have enough discipline. Maybe some other time.

Problem: If you don't think you can do something, you probably won't. Especially for the big stuff. Discipline has nothing to do with it — motivation and focus has everything to do with it. And if you put stuff off for "some other time", you'll never get it done. Negative thinking like this inhibits us from accomplishing anything.

Solution: Turn your thinking around: you can do this! You don't need discipline. Find ways to make yourself a success at your goal. If you fail, learn from your mistakes, and try again. Instead of putting a goal off for later, start now. And focus on one goal at a time, putting all of your energy into it, and getting as much help from others as you can. You can really move mountains if you start with positive thinking.

HAUGEN MORRISH

Managing Director

McCormick Rankin Corporation

2655 North Sheridan Way, Suite 300

Mississauga, ON L5K 2P8 Canada

A Hat Seller Tale

It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending. A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, So he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they hat taken all his hats. The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys, were doing the same.

Next, he took down his own hat; the monkeys did exactly the same. An Idea came to his mind* He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So He finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It Was Very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.

He remembered his grandfather' s words, started scratching his head and The Monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys Followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, he threw his Hat on The floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, Gave Him a slap and Guess!!! Said what??? "You think only you have a grandfather! !!???"

Luzvimindo Joselito

EastWest Banking Corporation