Father's Gift

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father hadpurchased the car.




Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.



Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.



Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.



Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11,



"And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?"



As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.



How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

Did I mary the right person

An article all the married and the single should read to maintain a lasting union in life




This is a very good article. read it. Those who are still single may learn something from here.... Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage.... DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?



During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"



Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.



EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.



People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.



Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.



The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.



At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.



Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.



But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):



THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love."



Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.



Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.



Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling .



Nadeshda Brennicke

Understanding Men (Humor)

"IT'S A GUY THING"


Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern

connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."



"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"



"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"

Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned

response.



"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Translated: "I have no idea how it works."



"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."

Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a

real babe."



"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."

Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum

cleaner."



"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translated: "Are you still talking?"



"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."



"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."

Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner

was a real babe."



"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but

will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."



"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."



"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated: "What did you catch me at?"



"I HEARD YOU."

Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you

just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."



"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."

Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me,

and realize it could be worse."



"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."

Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more

outfit, I'm starving."



"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."



Cleber Paulino de Oliveira

Why Jews are intelligent

Written by Dr. Stephen Carr Leon

Since I spent about 3 year in Israel for internship in few hospital there, It came to my mind about doing thesis/research of “Why the Jews are Intelligent?” It goes without denial that Jews are ahead in all aspect of life such as engineering, music, science and most obvious in business where nearly 70% of world trade/business are held by the Jews such as cosmetic, fashion, food, arms, hotels and film industries (Hollywood and others).

During the 2nd year, in December 1980, and I was about to go back to California, this idea came to me and I was wandering why God gave this gift/ability to them, is this a coincidence or is it man-made that could be produced like the goods from a factory. My thesis took about 8 years to gather all the information as accurately as possible, like the food intake, culture, religion, initial preparation of pregnancy and etc and I would compare them with other races.

Let’s start with initial preparation of pregnancy. In Israel, the first thing I noticed is that the pregnant mother would always sing and play piano and would always try to solve mathematical problems together with the husband, and I was very surprised to see the mother always carry math books and sometimes I would help her to solve some problems, I would asked, “Is this for your child in the womb?” she would answer “Yes to train the child still in the womb so that it would be a genius later on”. She would solve the problem without let-up until the child is born.

Another thing I noticed, is about the food, she loved to eat almonds and dates with milk, for lunch she would take bread and fish without the head, salad mixed with almonds and other nuts, they believed fish is good for the development of brain and the fish’s head is bad for the brain. And also it is like the culture of the Jews for pregnant mothers to take cod liver oil.

When I was invited for dinner, I always noticed that they always like to eat fish (flesh and fillet) and no meat, according to their belief, meat and fish together will not give any benefit to our body. Salad and nuts is a must, especially almonds.

They would always eat fruits first before the main meal. Their belief if you eat the main meal first (like bread or rice) then fruits, this will make us feel sleepy and difficult to understand any lesson you learn in school.

In Israel, smoking is a taboo, if you are their guest, don’t smoke in their house, they would politely ask you to go out for a smoke. According to scientist in university of Israel, nicotine would destroy the main cell in our brain and will affect the genes and DNA, resulting in generation of moron or defective brain. So all those smokers, please take note (Ironically, the biggest producer of cigarettes is… you know who.. make your own guess).

The food intake for the child is always under the guidance of the parent, first, the fruits with almonds, followed by cod liver oil. In my assessment, the Jewish child, most of them knew 3 languages, i.e. Hebrew, Arabic and English, since childhood they would be train in playing piano and violin, it is a must. Accordingly, it is believed that this practice will increase the IQ of the child and will make him a genius. And according to Jewish scientist, the vibration of music would stimulate the brain and that is why there are lots of geniuses among the Jews…

Since grade 1 to 6, they would be taught business mathematics and science subjects would be their first preference. For comparison I could see the children in California, their IQ is about 6 years back. And Jewish children were also involved in athletics such as archery, shooting and running, accordingly it is believed that archery and

shooting would make the brain more focus on decision and precision.

In high school, students are more inclined to study science, they would create products, indulged in all sorts of projects , although some looks very funny or useless, but all attention is given seriously especially if it is armaments, medicine or engineering, the idea will be introduced in higher institute in polytechnics or universities.

Business faculty will be given more preference, in the last year of university, the students in business would be given a project and practically they can only pass if their group (about 10 in a group) can make profit of USD1 million. Don’t be surprised, this is the reality and that is why half of the business in the world is held by the Jews, who design the latest levis, it is being designed in the Israel university by the faculty of business and fashion.

Have you seen them how they prayed, they always shake their heads, accordingly they believed this action will stimulate and provide more oxygen to the brain, same thing with Islam where you need to bow down your head. Look at the Japanese, they always bow down their heads as their culture, lots of them are smart, they love sushi (fresh fish), is this a coincidence?

In New York, the commercial/trading center for the Jews are based in New York, catering for the Jews only, if they had any beneficial idea, their committee will give free interest loan and will make sure the business prosper. Due to this, starbuck, dell computer, cocacola, DKNY, oracle, levis, dunkin donut , Hollywood films and hundreds other businesses were under their sponsorship. Jewish graduates from faculty of medicine in new york were encouraged to register with them and allowed to practice privately with this free interest loan, now I knew why most hospital in new york and California always lack of specialist doctors.

Smoking will lead to generations of moron. During my visit to Singapore in 2005, made me surprised to see smokers are regarded as an outcast and the price of a pack of cigarettes is about USD 7, like in Israel it is a taboo and their form of government is similar to the Israelis. And that is the reason why most of their universities are of high standard, even though Singapore is only as big as Manhattan.

Look at Indonesia, everywhere people are smoking, and price of a pack of cigarette is very cheap only USD0.70 cts. and the results with millions of people, you can count the number of universities, what product they produced that can be proud of, technology.. never… can they speak other than their own language, why it is so difficult for them to master English language for example, all this is due to smoking, think for yourself.

In my thesis, I do not touch in respect of religion or race, why the Jews are so arrogant that they were being chased around since the time of Pharaoh until Hitler, for me it is about politics and survival, the bottom line is, could we produce intelligent generations just like the Jews. The answer could be in the affirmative that needs change in our daily habits of eating, parenting and I guess within 3 generations, it could be achieved. This I could observe in my grandson, for example at the age of 9 he could write a 5-page essay on “Why I love tomato”

May all of us be in peace and succeeded in producing a future generations of genius for the betterment of humankind no matter who you are.

Dr. Stephen Carr Leon

14 Ways to Save Money on Groceries.

Save money and trips to the market with these tips and tricks from Rebecca DiLiberto’s Penny Saving Household Helper. You’ll be surprised how simple it is to keep food at its best.

1. Line the bottom of your refrigerator’s crisper drawer with paper towels. They’ll absorb the excess moisture that causes vegetables to rot.

2. To keep herbs tasting fresh for up to a month, store whole bunches, washed and sealed in plastic bags, in the freezer. When you need them, they’ll be easier to chop, and they’ll defrost the minute they hit a hot pan.

3. A bay leaf slipped into a container of flour, pasta, or rice will help repel bugs.

4. Stop cheese from drying out by spreading butter or margarine on the cut sides to seal in moisture. This is most effective with hard cheeses sealed in wax.

5. When radishes, celery, or carrots have lost their crunch, simply pop them in a bowl of iced water along with a slice of raw potato and watch the limp vegetables freshen up right before your eyes.

6. Avoid separating bananas until you plan to eat them – they spoil less quickly in a bunch.

7. Put rice in your saltshaker to stop the salt from hardening. The rice absorbs condensation that can cause clumps.

8. Stock up on butter when it’s on sale – you can store it in the freezer for up to six months. Pack the butter in an airtight container, so it doesn’t take on the flavor of whatever else you’re freezing.

9. In order to make cottage cheese or sour cream last longer, place the container upside down in the fridge. Inverting the tub creates a vacuum that inhibits the growth of bacteria that causes food to spoil.

10. Believe it or not, honey is the only nonperishable food substance, so don’t get rid of the stuff if it crystallizes or becomes cloudy. Microwave on medium heat, in 30-second increments, to make honey clear again.

11. Prevent extra cooked pasta from hardening by stashing it in a sealed plastic bag and refrigerating. When you’re ready to serve, throw the pasta in boiling water for a few seconds to heat and restore moisture.

12. Keeping brown sugar in the freezer will stop it from hardening. But if you already have hardened sugar on your shelf, soften it by sealing in a bag with a slice of bread – or by microwaving on high for 30 seconds.

13. If you only need a few drops of lemon juice, avoid cutting the lemon in half – it will dry out quickly. Instead, puncture the fruit with a metal skewer and squeeze out exactly what you require.

14. If you’re unsure of an egg’s freshness, see how it behaves in a cup of water: Fresh eggs sink; bad ones float.


source: http://shine.yahoo.com/event/financiallyfit/14-ways-to-save-money-on-groceries-2447559/

Iron & Wine: Flightless Bird, American Mouth

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins

All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys

Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair

Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you

Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth

Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat

Nursing my sore blunt tongue

Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks

Pissing on magazine photos

Those fishing lures thrown in the cold

And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you

Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth

Big pill stuck going down

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/flightless-bird-american-mouth-lyrics-iron-wine.html ]












message is to follow your OWN dreams and take CHANCES so you'll never have to wonder "what if".

The first verse:

About a man taking the easy way through life. He's "husstling" if you will, for money. Living the fast life, the good life for the time being however he's getting in too deep and getting too greedy "Digging too deep for coins" and when one gets too greedy in the underground, one gets sloppy.

"When the cops closed the fair" Refers to how he gets caught and the cops put an end to his fast life and easy money. He's forced to grow up “I cut my long baby hair”. He can no longer live the life he had and realizes he must change his ways.

“Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere” Dog eared-map may not make sense at first glace, but dogs ears may be referring to listening which leads to him being humbled and now taking advice. The Map may refer to him finding direction. Stealing a map traditionally means having stolen a path away from someone and in this case, “stealing a dog-eared map” refers to him taking the advice of others, and following a path that others would like him to follow. He “stole” the map; the path was not his own – it belonged to someone else; was the idea of someone else.

first Chorus:

“Have I found you, flightless bird” he’s unsure if he’s found his own path. If he’s found what he wants to do rather than what others want him to do. A bird that cannot fly may be seen by some as ironic. Birds are known to fly – they have wings to fly. If a bird cannot fly, it is not fully realized.

“jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth” This may refer to those surrounding him as well as his own thoughts. The “jealous” never want another to become a fully realized individual. Always wanting to hold the individual back; as the saying goes, “Misery love company”. “Weeping or lost you” may refer to him realizing this is not his dream. This is not his path, it is another’s path; not what he chose, but what has been chosen for him. “American mouth” is an analogy for the Freedom of speech. Had he spoken up when he had the chance, deciding on his dream rather than pleasing others, he may have been happy and not have had this “big pill looming”, this burden and suppressed misery.

The second verse:

This entire verse speaks about what he has become having followed a path that he believed was the right choice for others’ sake rather than taking a chance, doing something that may have been frightening but in the end cold have been worth it.

“Now I’m a fat house cat” refers to his present state. Unhappy with himself and the outcome of his life. He finds it too late for him to be able to change the past and no matter how much he talks it over, and complains about it, “Nursing my sore, blunt tongue” he will still be in the position he is in. He may as well hold his tongue from now on, keep from complaining about a situation that was of his doing. He is now forced to watch others who were not afraid of taking that chance. Others who pushed through the fear and, even though it may lead to places unknown, or may hurt them in the future, still took the chance “Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence ****s.” There is nothing stopping these young and fearless creatures. These “rats” have such a big future “Wide fence ****s” ahead of them and even though it may be scary and unknown, or may even be the wrong decision “Warm Poison” these rats still took that chance.

He now looks at his mainstream American life and resents it “****ing on magazine photos”. He tried to take the opportunities now, take those chances now, but he feels it is too late. Like “Fishing lures thrown in the cold”. He will not get any bites at this point. He not just throws those “lures” or dreams into the hands of God of “Christ mountain stream” and wait for his days to play out and come to an end.

Last Chorus:

In this chorus he refers to the “flightless bird” as being “grounded, bleeding or lost you”. When something is grounded, it has come to a definite decision. Whether it be in flight context, a “grounded plane” has been grounded due to complications and cannot get into the air, or in a completely difference context, “grounding your kids” meaning they are completely restricted. To add insult to injury, this “flightless bird” is not only grounded, but “bleeding” as well. He is not only “trapped” into his position, but he is injured and unable to recover. Being grounded has injured him, caused him to “bleed”.

He can no longer complete his dream, he feels he has missed his chance. Rather than the “big pill” slowly making it’s way down, the “Big pill stuck going down” is trapped in place

Read more: http://www.metrolyrics.com/flightless-bird-american-mouth-lyrics-iron-wine.html#ixzz1Cn6ZQJmL
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

PS: Thanks to Ms.RaeLee at metrolyrics.com for her wonderful insight

Memo From Your Child

1. Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for ... I'm only testing you.


2. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it .. it makes me feel more secure.


3. Don't correct me in front of people if you can help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk to me in private.

4. Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.

5. Don't be too upset if I say "I hate you." It isn't that I hate you, but only that I need your attention.

6. Don't protect me from consequence. I need to learn the hard way.

7. Don't take too much notice of my small ailment. Sometimes they get me the attention I want.

8. Don't nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

9. Don't make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.

10. Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. This is why I'm not always accurate.

11. Don't tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.

12. Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose my faith in you.

13. Don't put me off when I ask you questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.

14. Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to try to understand.

15. Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.

16. Don't ever think it beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm to you.

17. Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me but please try.

18. Don't forget I love experimenting. I couldn't get along without it, so please put up with it.

19. Don't forget that I can't thrive without lots of love. But I don't need to tell you all the time, do I?

The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage

By TARA PARKER-POPE

Published: December 31, 2010

A lasting marriage does not always signal a happy marriage. Plenty of miserable couples have stayed together for children, religion or other practical reasons.

But for many couples, it’s just not enough to stay together. They want a relationship that is meaningful and satisfying. In short, they want a sustainable marriage.

“The things that make a marriage last have more to do with communication skills, mental health, social support, stress — those are the things that allow it to last or not,” says Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. “But those things don’t necessarily make it meaningful or enjoyable or sustaining to the individual.”

The notion that the best marriages are those that bring satisfaction to the individual may seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t marriage supposed to be about putting the relationship first?

Not anymore. For centuries, marriage was viewed as an economic and social institution, and the emotional and intellectual needs of the spouses were secondary to the survival of the marriage itself. But in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting.

Caryl Rusbult, a researcher at Vrije University in Amsterdam who died last January, called it the “Michelangelo effect,” referring to the manner in which close partners “sculpt” each other in ways that help each of them attain valued goals.

Dr. Aron and Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, have studied how individuals use a relationship to accumulate knowledge and experiences, a process called “self-expansion.” Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship.

To measure this, Dr. Lewandowski developed a series of questions for couples: How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things? How much has knowing your partner made you a better person? (Take the full quiz measuring self-expansion.)

While the notion of self-expansion may sound inherently self-serving, it can lead to stronger, more sustainable relationships, Dr. Lewandowski says.

“If you’re seeking self-growth and obtain it from your partner, then that puts your partner in a pretty important position,” he explains. “And being able to help your partner’s self-expansion would be pretty pleasing to yourself.”

The concept explains why people are delighted when dates treat them to new experiences, like a weekend away. But self-expansion isn’t just about exotic experiences. Individuals experience personal growth through their partners in big and small ways. It happens when they introduce new friends, or casually talk about a new restaurant or a fascinating story in the news.

The effect of self-expansion is particularly pronounced when people first fall in love. In research at the University of California at Santa Cruz, 325 undergraduate students were given questionnaires five times over 10 weeks. They were asked, “Who are you today?” and given three minutes to describe themselves. They were also asked about recent experiences, including whether they had fallen in love.

After students reported falling in love, they used more varied words in their self-descriptions. The new relationships had literally broadened the way they looked at themselves.

“You go from being a stranger to including this person in the self, so you suddenly have all of these social roles and identities you didn’t have before,” explains Dr. Aron, who co-authored the research. “When people fall in love that happens rapidly, and it’s very exhilarating.”

Over time, the personal gains from lasting relationships are often subtle. Having a partner who is funny or creative adds something new to someone who isn’t. A partner who is an active community volunteer creates new social opportunities for a spouse who spends long hours at work.

Additional research suggests that spouses eventually adopt the traits of the other — and become slower to distinguish differences between them, or slower to remember which skills belong to which spouse.

In experiments by Dr. Aron, participants rated themselves and their partners on a variety of traits, like “ambitious” or “artistic.” A week later, the subjects returned to the lab and were shown the list of traits and asked to indicate which ones described them.

People responded the quickest to traits that were true of both them and their partner. When the trait described only one person, the answer came more slowly. The delay was measured in milliseconds, but nonetheless suggested that when individuals were particularly close to someone, their brains were slower to distinguish between their traits and those of their spouses.

“It’s easy to answer those questions if you’re both the same,” Dr. Lewandowski explains. “But if it’s just true of you and not of me, then I have to sort it out. It happens very quickly, but I have to ask myself, ‘Is that me or is that you?’ ”

It’s not that these couples lost themselves in the marriage; instead, they grew in it. Activities, traits and behaviors that had not been part of their identity before the relationship were now an essential part of how they experienced life.

All of this can be highly predictive for a couple’s long-term happiness. One scale designed by Dr. Aron and colleagues depicts seven pairs of circles. The first set is side by side. With each new set, the circles begin to overlap until they are nearly on top of one another. Couples choose the set of circles that best represents their relationship. In a 2009 report in the journal Psychological Science, people bored in their marriages were more likely to choose the more separate circles. Partners involved in novel and interesting experiences together were more likely to pick one of the overlapping circles and less likely to report boredom. “People have a fundamental motivation to improve the self and add to who they are as a person,” Dr. Lewandowski says. “If your partner is helping you become a better person, you become happier and more satisfied in the relationship.”

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html?no_interstitial